Yup, what woman hasn’t had to deal with their man being emotionally unavailable?
Then it’s likely that you will have had those moments where you have just fought…
And rather than helping get to the bottom of the issue, he just shuts down and says nothing…
Further making you feel unheard, isolated, frustrated and sad…
Emotional unavailability is extremely common and I’m here to explain at the deepest level why it occurs.
Here are three reasons why men become emotionally unavailable
Strength is all part of their primal instincts
Men Do Feel…And they feel really deeply! However from the beginning of civilisation, men have been primarily responsible for hunting and gathering and weakness ultimately resulted in death (particularly when they were face to face with natures beasts!).
Hence through the various stages of evolution, men have always struggled with the idea of weakness…because at its very core, weakness means death.
I know that sounds a little far fetched but I urge to truly embrace this idea. When a man notices something wrong and his woman isn’t happy, then on some level, he will have taken on a level of responsibility that meant he has judged himself harshly.
When guys judge themselves harshly, they end up in survival mode where they shut down or get even more aggressive. Either way, they are hurting – despite their behaviour and it, in turn hurts you…
They live to make you happy
The saying “Happy wife, happy life” is oh so true for a man. Why?
Because at his very core, he lives to make you happy!
Plain and simple…
Nothing lights up a good man more than to see his woman happy. When arguments, fights and ‘heavy’ chats occur, he takes that as him screwing up (even if he doesn’t admit it). The feeling makes him feel so bad that his fight or flight response kicks in…
In other words, he stops communicating and resorts to activities where he can feel significant and ‘conquer’. It may not necessarily the right thing for him to do but remember, we are dealing with primal emotions and instincts here – not necessarily basic logic.
He needs to feel like he can be your hero!
In the early days, when a man used to go and hunt for food, upon his return, there would be a celebration amongst the tribe. This would ultimately elevate his feelings of significance and responsibility to his family.
Now whilst I’m not saying you need to go to this extreme (unless you want to of course!), giving as much praise and validation play a huge part in making him feel like a man and ultimately your hero.
This brings out his most primal masculine instincts and when these come out, he is called and drawn to you to be your man and serve you in ways that you’ve always desired.
To truly transform a relationship, you have to get to the heart of the issue and often that means empathising and understanding human beings (and in particular, your partner) at the primal level.
However, in order to truly do this, you will require a level of growth, honesty and selflessness that can only occur when you take a loving and heart centric approach to your relationship.
Ultimately, you need to empathise and adjust your communication style so that your intent is purely to give love. Not just to get it.
As hard as it might be to hear it, doing things to get something in return is a trade. This is not what love is.
Change Is Possible With a Shift in Approach
What i’ve just described is often the hardest part of the process. Why? Because relationships problems often throw logic and reason out the door as emotions are heightened.
Getting into the right ‘space’, mentally and emotionally is of paramount importance. Once you do that, you can truly get your man to open up – even if you’re the only one that appears interested.
It is for this reason that I’ve created my free 1:1 ‘Love for Life’ Blueprint sessions. These sessions are designed specifically to give you the exact strategies and tools that I’ve used to help hundreds of my clients turn their relationships around.
If you would like to work with me 1:1 for free – where I help to create a special Love for Life Blueprint for you outlining the exact actions that you need to take to truly get your man to open up, then all you need to do is click below and you can apply for one of these sessions.
As my time is limited, I can’t take on everyone and hence I do have a short application process. I thoroughly look forward to the opportunity to serve you and transforming your relationship!