You’re hurt and you’ve been feeling alone in your relationship for a long time.
You just want to be loved and adored but you aren’t getting the time of day from your man.
Whenever he comes home, you either get into some sort of an argument or you end up getting ignored.
The relationship has lacked any real passion, love or intimacy for some time now and this feeling of isolation is eating you up inside.
I know how hard it is.
You just want the relationship to be how it was at the beginning but you have no idea on how to change it…
In particular, how to change him.
Here’s the thing though…If your question is how to change him, then you are asking the wrong question.
I’ll tell you why in just a minute.
But before I do, I want to explain to you what is really happening here.
The Real Purpose of a Relationship
As Tony Robbins states, the purpose of a relationship is not to get love, it’s to give love.
Now I know what you might be saying here…
“But Sri, i’ve been giving and giving to him but surely there is a time when you have to get something back??”
Now there are a couple of assumptions I am going to make here:
1) You are with a good man. Yes, i’m not going to lie – there are some men that are just bad news out there. Narcissists, Psychopaths etc. If you do suspect you are with one of these kinds of men, then there is some deeper work that needs to be done here and you can read more about that HERE.
2) The relationship was great once. There has just been a slow decline.
OK good, now that we have got that out of the way, here’s what’s important.
You’re Focussing Too Much on yourself.
There you go – I said it. You’re making it all about you.
As soon as a relationship goes down this path where one or both parties begin making it all about them, then the slow decline begins.
BTW, just so i’m clear, there is absolutely every chance that he is doing the same.
But in order to create the change you desire, you need to do two things.
What needs to Happen
1) Start focussing on giving from your heart – not what you think he needs but what he actually needs! Not because you should do but because you want to and you have to. When he feels like you get him and his needs are being met, then he will reciprocate big time!
2) To do this, you need to cultivate a feeling of love, gratitude and joy within yourself. If you are angry and resentful, your expression of love will disingenuous and inauthentic and he will feel it.
Now remember how I mentioned that if you’re trying to find out how to change your partner, then you’re asking the wrong question?
Well, the reason why is that in order to instil change in a relationship, we need to first decide who we need to become. How did we contribute to the relationship decline?
Think of it this way.
If you are running a business and it fails, is it all because your customers failed to appreciate what you were doing? The services you were offering?
Or do you look at yourself and ask how you could have served them better? This is the answer!
It’s absolutely the same in relationships.
But there is one pre-cursor to all of this…
Take the first step and commit to a better relationship and a better life
I love what I do. The feeling of service to others and transforming lives is like no other.
But there is one aspect of my job that hurts the most and it’s when I see people have a desire to change but then when they need to take some action, then shy away and use all sorts of excuses as to why they can’t do anything about it.
There is one thing and one thing only that needs to be done right now.
And that is making the commitment to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to create an extraordinary relationship.
If that means reading books, then so be it. If that means waking up every morning and doing a morning ritual to get yourself into a wonderful state, then even better.
If that means getting coaching, then awesome!
Do something! I urge you!
In my life, there is no rocket science to the reason why some people turn their lives around and some don’t.
Get into a great emotional state…
Then Take action! That’s is. Period.
What action can you take now?
If you want to know more about how to do this, The first thing you can do is sign up for my FREE webinar working on the 3 most important steps that my client Sarah used to transform her relationship. I’ve always believed that learning from others is the greatest resource we can use to get the results we desire.
You can sign up for this Free Webinar HERE!
Secondly, I have a couple of spots opening up for a free consultation with me to determine how to get your man back or how to rekindle the spark in your current relationship/marriage. These spots do go quickly so CLICK HERE before they run out and you end up on a waitlist!